My Internal Monsters by TheStabbingRapper, literature
Literature
My Internal Monsters
These powers I had stored up in my head,
Now have minds of their own instead.
Endlessly I call the mother ship to snatch me from hell,
My Angels are my demons as well.
Can't scrape off the smell of clouds from my skin,
If they catch it on me, Unimaginable trouble I'm in.
Why do I get this urge to joy ride the planes?
Can I really afford to play these games?
Now thrown into battle by the ones above me,
I Only wanted my child in me, set free.
My problems are now rolled into a sphere,
I bind them together while you make them disappear.
It wasn't you that cracked the Dam,
I was the one who made it Kablam.
Earger to rebuild now I've
You need it, more than anything else.
You can not be without it for too long.
You throw your life to have it , obsessive.
No Family, no friends
just the feeling, just the touch.
Too weak to give it up, you said so yourself.
It's not a chemical that made you like that.
I don't think you can live long like that.
You won't stop though you know,
it's an addiction.
As a boy, he spent all his cash
on things he really didn't need.
As a girl, she could only crash
into her own love-sick creed.
He was a soldier, she a paragon;
to each a world full of friction.
Neither one would dwell upon
the blood-red skies of fiction.
And she spent years on prayer,
hoping to end such hostilities
that tore her from her lover,
but knew war was in his genes.
Every night he lay there awake,
shaking with the exhilaration
when given the chance to make
a move against the opposition.
He was a soldier; she a paragon;
for each one was a world away.
And when the war continued on,
she knew he was lost
Im suffering,
In pain,
A wreck,
Used.
Im out of control,
Spiraling downwards,
I want to escape,
I want to find peace.
One pill.
Two pills.
Three.
Four.
I overdose on pills,
That I shouldnt even have.
I fell myself sky rocket upwards,
Im feeling free and light weight.
You cant touch me,
You cant hurt me.
You cant do anything to me.
Im invisible.
Higher, higher.
I want to go higher.
I want to feel a thrill,
I want to feel that sick pleasure of happiness.
I want to escape.
My world melts around me,
Illusions swirl around me,
I stare with wide eyes,
And laugh.
Im a
I do not reflect, but I put on display
Pictures and words, using colorful light.
For this young generation, of new-age environment,
Oh how they love me, how they adore me.
My gaze entrances, enrapture, enthralls,
In a trance which they cannot escape.
For I am their connection, their visual insight
Unto that web which bind the wideness of the world.
Conveniently I portray, all they want, all they need
Upon my chameleon face, their portal and guide.
A mere box like myself, who would have thought,
May command such control over this generation,
Demanding and receiving their ever hungry gaze upon my face
it occured to me
a flashflood
everything that passes by
is exactly what i deserve
unfortunately i had too good of a time
to say i dont have any regrets
sometimes it just feels good
does that make me a criminal?
it's exactly what i deserve
we live.
we breathe,
we rejoice,
we agonise,
we are human,
these are our emotions,
we eat,
we sleep,
we run,
we sit,
we are human,
these are our actions,
we are what we are.
we are no more.
we are no less,
we can not be devided
nor can we be multiplied
theses are simple truths,
and we hold them to be true.
this is what we are.
You are not who you say you are.
Or who they say you are.
I believe that.
I believe a lot of things.
Let my skewed vision
Be my worst flaw
and my best.